I almost missed out on an incredible man - a man I am now blessed to call my husband, my best friend, the father of our two sweet girls, my lover. Why? When we first met he didn't feel like HOME. Home felt like being needed, and he didn't need me. He knew who he was. He knew where he was going. He wanted me to join him for the ride, but he didn't need me to. My ex needed me. He always turned to me for help and it made me feel like Superwoman. My superpower was solving all his problems and lifting him up when he was down. I was his "fixer." It was a role I knew well and was comfortable with because it was a role I had played since childhood. My ex needed me like I thought my parents and sister needed me. And it made me feel loved. Worthy. Safe. But three years into our relationship he met someone else and didn't need me anymore. I was devastated. I felt like my heart had been ripped out and squashed into a million pieces. I wanted to blame him for my pain and be a victim. But I was at the University of Santa Monica at the time, studying Spiritual Psychology, and I knew better. I knew there was a lesson my pain my trying to teach me, something I was being invited to see and heal. So I turned my attention away from my ex, looked within and did my work. I went to the root of my hurt by talking to the younger one inside of me who bought into the misunderstanding that it was her job to take care of her family. I forgave myself for buying into the misunderstanding that I needed others to need me in order to be lovable, worthy and safe. I affirmed the truth that I am lovable and worthy - no matter what - and that it's safe to let go of needing to be needed. It took some time for this new understanding to integrate into my heart and mind, but when it did the man who wanted me, but didn't need me, suddenly felt like home. Not to the wounded part of me, but to my Soul - the part of me that knows I don't need to "fix" or take responsibility for others in order to be lovable, worthy or safe. When we heal the misunderstandings we innocently bought into when we were young, we no longer need to play them out in our relationships. We can stop attracting people who resonate with our wounding, and instead grow into a higher level of relationship where we connect and share from our wholeness. I thank God every day I did my work. Because if I hadn't, I don't think I would have opened my heart to the amazing man the Universe sent my way. Want to use the same process I used to wake up to your wholeness so that that you don't continue to play out your childhood wounding in your relationships and life? ➡️ Get the process here - it's free and our gift to you. Try this process out and share it with anyone you think it might support. We are all in this together and it's beautiful when we can support each other in liberating ourselves from the beliefs and patterns that keep us stuck.
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