How to Shift Your Inner Voice from Self-Judgement to Self-Celebration
Updated: Feb 15, 2020
Have you heard about Dr. Masaru Emoto's water experiment where loving, positive words were taped on water bottles and resulted in beautiful, aesthetically pleasing water molecule formations?
And then mean, negative words were taped on water bottles and resulted in disfigured and unpleasant water molecule formations?
Consider this. . .
Our bodies are made of 60% water. How are you speaking to yourself?
Are you saying loving, kind and compassionate things to yourself?
Or is your inner critic running wild with judgement and negative self-talk?
Take a moment to reflect on what your inner voice sounds like. No judgement needed. Just notice.
Almost every woman we know judges and criticizes herself in at least on or more areas of her life - weight, appearance, relationships, mothering, career, finances. It's something that surfaces in our own lives, too. We sometimes find ourselves getting caught in comparison, perfectionism, people-pleasing, over-giving and worrying about what others think. These patterns are a reflection of not feeling "good enough" and trying to "earn" or "prove" our worth and lovability through our accomplishments and the approval of others.
So please know, we get it. You are not alone.
But here's the truth: The judgmental and critical stories of the mind are not true. They are a lie. We were not born with judgement and negativity inside of ourselves. We learned it through what was shown or told to us either directly or indirectly - by culture, the media, our parents, grandparents, caregivers, teachers, etc.
The good news is this: If we learned it, we can unlearn it. We can teach ourselves another way. We can wake up to our inherent rightness and break the pattern of self-judgement and replace it with a pattern self-celebration.
So where do we begin? If we have a strong inner critic, how can we heal it?
And if we already have a great relationship with ourselves, how can we make it even more amazing?
Here are 3 simple yet powerful practices that can help you cultivate a more loving and supportive inner voice:
1. See the belief (don't identify with it) - Anytime you're in a pattern of self-criticism and self-judgement, recognize that the core belief underneath this pattern is some version of "I'm not enough" (not successful enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not skinny enough, etc.). Become aware that "not enough" is just a thought. It's a story. It's not who you are. You are enough and you are also not enough, because who you are is beyond any label the mind could ever put on you. A metaphor we find helpful is this: You are the sun (brilliant and always shining). The belief "not enough" is a cloud. Don't identify with the clouds of your mind. Identify with the sun - the radiant being that you are.
2. Forgive - Notice the critical and judgmental stories of the mind and forgive yourself for buying into them. This is a process we learned at the University of Santa Monica and it sounds like this: "I forgive myself for buying into the belief __________ (fill in the blank)." For example, "I forgive myself for buying into the belief that there is something wrong with me and I'm not enough just as I am." Or, "I forgive myself for buying into the belief that I have to be a perfect wife and miother in order to be worthy and lovable." In our experience, when we let go of these limiting beliefs we experience what's underneath them - our inherent wholeness and goodness.
3. Celebrate yourself - Focusing on what we perceive as not "good enough", shameful, wrong or lacking about ourselves is a habit. It's not true, it's just a default pattern of the mind. You are beautiful and worthy, exactly as you are, not when you're more this or less that. Create a new habit of self-love and self-celebration by identifying what you love and appreciate about yourself. Appreciate yourself for who you are, not just for what you do. Make it a daily habit to celebrate 3 things about yourself (consistency is key!).
As you start to dis-identify with, forgive and shift the stories in your head, not only will you feel better, but your life will begin to shift in miraculous ways, too. Test it out! See what happens as you apply these 3 practices and let us know about your experience in the comments below.
Sister, we are far too magnificent and valuable to waste our precious life energy on believing stories about ourselves that are simply not true. We deserve our own loving, compassion and kindness. Are you with us?
In full support of you owning and celebrating how incredible you truly are.